| Life sucks !! |
[Oct. 1st, 2006|02:38 pm] |
hey whats up..well life has been real crazy for me for da last past two months n i dont kno how to feel bout it...its like i dont even kno myslef anyone..Im still workin..been lookin to move soon..so much shyt is crazy n i cant wait to get away from it ALL..Im sicc of everything..well i didnt do shyt dis weekend well i went out friday..went down alexs mom to see dem i havent saw any of dem for a while like 3 months or soo..den me n leina went out to last shot..its a bar near her house we had fun..i was sooo drunk i havent drank in soo long i was wasted..saturday my baby called n came to see me for a couple of hours..him i dont kno what to do wit him..hes my everything n he keeps tellin me soon but wen is soon..so im juss doin me right now n tryin not to think bout shyt..work its crazy too..well im goin to get a shower to go lay down n watch a movie so bye everyone.. |
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| i dont kno.... |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|10:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed too | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 90210--lol im watchin it | ] |
I dont kno do u juss eva sit n think bout shyt n wish sometimes u could go bacc n do it different..today was such a werid day for me..I love alex to death believe n i havent gave up on him yet n its been 3 years n i kno steph he is a dicc head but we all have our dicc heads..i juss wish i could go bacc n not b wit him...like i wish me n him would of juss been friends...its crazy cuz i neva talk like dis bout him...i cant stand him sometimes but i kno every girl dat has a man fights n dey cant stand him..but to b da way i m now n to look bacc on how i used to b...its sooo different..i juss wish i could forget him n not worry...i act as though i dont acre n think to myself like oo i dont need him i can do witout him but for real..i cant...i break down n cry wen it comes to really thinkin im done wit him...i told him i CAN live witout him i juss dont wanna...but girls for real i dont think i can..i look at myself now n see how crazy i am..i see him everyday at work..i mean our relationship right now aint like bfore n it hurts believe me but i can juss think how imma b if i dont stay wit him..not to see him everyday n not to b wit him...imma die...imma lose a piece of me wen dat happens..im scared of dat..im sooo scared of losin him..i think its more cuz i dont wanna do da whole puttin my feelins in to someone else..i've been tho some much shyt wit dis dude it aint even funny..n i say to myself sometimes how did i deal wit it..n really i dont kno..cant say love cuz love shouldnt hurt as much as i did..it was soo diff dis time like b4 it was like he care but he didnt...dis time he showed me he care in everything he did..i mean i kno he fucced up alot n we fought ova stupid shyt..but he was der for me no matta what..now its like my half is gone n i dont kno how to deal wit it...even towards him...im such a bitch now..i thank him some much cuz he changed me alot not only for da good but for a lot of things bout man...i cant even think bacc on anything bad like i kno what happen dat he fucced up on but wen i think of him its all good shyt he did n da way he made me feel at dat time..im soo crazy bout him its werid dat u could feel the same way for someone afta 3 years..n still b madly in luv wit dem..i neva thought u could love someone as much as i love dis men..i juss need a lil help wit what to do..like i kno im da only one dat can make my mind up on what to do but its soo hard n crazy to think of livin witout someone u love soo dearly..wit all ur heart n soul..well i have to go to bed n talk to ya all tomorrow...luv ya all..steph ur my best friend n da only one who really kno everything n i thank u sooo much for still bein here for me afta all da shyt i did..love u girl |
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| Its been awhile...But IM BACC |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|03:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | HoMe | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | NuTtIn | ] |
Oo my god i havent been on in since last year...dats some crazy shyt...well nuttin really changed my son got real big..hes 3 now and he is soo bad it aint funny...well my brothers girl is pregnant.(cant stand da bytch but what else is new) Mee n mr.alex r still kinda togather...his sis is pregnant too..i really dont kno what to say i still have my job im on da books now so im happy as hell bout dat..here are some pics of me n da baby from not dat long ago...........
...Me n micheal at chucky cheese....
...MeE n MiSs JaDa....
....MiChEaL...my baby boul
...MeE n MiKe AgAiN...
.....Look at dem EARS...LOL
...MeE n CrYsTaLyNn...
...MeE n StEpH...LuV yA gUrL
<33 MeE n CrYsTaLyNn AgAiN <33
well imma go n do some otha shyt i'll write on here tomorrow |
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| hey whats up |
[Dec. 28th, 2005|11:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
hey whats up me nada chillin ya kno well its kinda late but i have alot shyt on my mind like i dont kno what im doin anymore..like my life feels finally right but its still fucced up im doin good i work everyday..10 hours at day..i really dont do shyt anymore..me n alex now i dont kno what dat is,,its like last year it was me da one always wantin alex now its like he da one who always wants me der wit him n his sis is like what did u do to my bro cuz everyone is seein how diff he is towards me..i was like nuttin she was like did u n him do anything..n for real me him n havent done nuttin since da last time we had sex n da was ay bacc nn like we neva had time to do anything..she like well juss dont changed..she says cuz last year i was real diff n i kno was i wit alex..i acted like i neva cared what he did...we neva really talk..it was a fucced up thing me n him had..but now i dont kno he juss makes me smile like i would of neva thought me n him would b like dis agian but im kinda happy we r cuz i wasnt happy ...well i was happy but der was something missin n it was cuz he wasnt der at all not even as a friend..its juss sooo werid like last year at dis time me n alex was always fighitn wit each otha not talkin cuz of rere..im juss soo happy but i miss everything else like steph i miss ya sooooo much bytch comin up ur house...BOB ..LOL i miss bob too..juss shyt like dat cuz now its like hard cuz i work all week n even tho me n him work togather its like we really dont have anytime to me n him so da weekends we juss chill togather juss me n him..like last weekend i was wit him friday..saturday..sunday..monday..tuesday..n i had to see him wednesday at work n tomorrow imma see him n its juss soo great like i couldnt b happier right now...but den im soo scared to start something wit him n get hurt..like he made me changed so what since we started talkin..LOL i smoked too much now n he told me im gettin a butt n tits cuz i eat all da time cuz im always high..iight well i'll finsh writin in here tomorrow..i need to get sleep i got work tomorrow..oh shyt i get pai im goin shoppin for myself..dis weekend is new years eve imma get wracked..lol steph i wish u was here wit me so we could get drunk togather bytch we need to chill..a girls night out ..fucc all men for one night n us juss go out n have fun... |
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| wow no one has faith in me |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|11:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  have faith in me | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | q102--topic--how u shave ur pussy...lol | ] |
hey whats da deal?? me nada chillin ya kno..well i havent wrote in here in a while...alot of shyt changed since den..well me n stewart r juss FRIENDS now nuttin more..n i be wit sweat agian..lol he changed so much but for da good..he treats sooo much betta it aint even funny..but fucc bob n bobbert for real dey have no faith in me at all like dey make me wanna come up der on friday n fucc whateva i was ganna do juss to prove to dem dat i can see stewart n not have sex wit him i mean da last couple times i went up der i didnt dont get me wrong i could of but i didnt..like i kno his has jackie now n i aint like dat n i have something dats goin real good y would i fucc it up for him wen he could careless bout me..n has a GIRL..i got my mind togather now gurls..i kno what im doin..
well yesterday was juss a fucced up day..i fought wit my mom all day n not only dat but i was upset cuz it would of been 2 years for me n alex if we were still togather..wow how much i miss him..its crazy..how much he changed...its funny..i juss miss him as a friend tho...i think i might go down der to see everyone..i havent been der for a while..well mikes been good to mee..hes movin a lil too fast dis time but i still like him...hes soo cute..i dont kno im juss so happy wen hes around me..like i miss alot of shyt...(steph u kno what im talkin bout)but finally im happy wit someone who really likes me for me..n it feels pretty good...lol...im stupid..hes prolly mad at me right now cuz i went down kensington n he ask me not too..but dat my hood im not ganna stop goin down der cuz he dont like no one down no matta what dey'll still my friends... he juss thinks imma get wit someone y would i fucc something good up for one of dem corney dudes down der..im not dat stupid now..lol..i do have some brains..iight well im goin to bed im tired n dont feel dat good..luv ya gurls muahzzz |
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| hey whats up |
[Oct. 2nd, 2005|12:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
hey whats da deal?? me nada chillin ya kno..well dis weekend i had so much fun..friday i went out wit steph n bob we went shoppin at da malls..den we went bacc to steph house n juss chilled i didnt drink but i still had fun..LOL...den saturday we got up at 12 n came to philly..but we were suppose to go bacc to steph well i was but robbie n bobbert started some shyt den we was goin n we had to drop my son off to my mom n we said we was only goin in for 5mins well we ended up stayin longer der dat n me bob n bobbert got shytie..well i threw up but it wasnt really nuttin cuz i had nothin in my stomach but bobbert ooo my god he fall on da ground n all pukin..lol well had fun tho i was dancin my azz off wit some people i didnt kno..but i have a good time wit my fam for once... |
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| Hey |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|10:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | U kno | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Oh Gurl.. | ] |
hey whats up me nada chillin u kno juss sittin in my room bein bored..well i hate b all by myself here cuz i juss think bout stupid shyt...or a song will come on n make me think of some shyt..well i updated my profile..webpage so i thought i write in here to update n tell yas what ben goin on...( Steph if u look at my webpage make sure no one is near u please)
Well im still fucced up in da head n still cant find no one to replace u kno who...n let me tell ya what song juss came on ...Let me luv u by mario..well anyways steph can u tell me why stewart chrip me afta u's lefted n played dat song for me cuz it juss hurt me sooo much n made me think of da one night at ur house wen i called his phone n played it on his answerin machine..LOL remember i blo his phone up dat night lol like 30 times...lol i was crazii...juss sayin all kinds of shyt n i wanted to cry but couldnt cuz der was peeps at my house like tears were in my eyes but i wouldnt let dem come out..i couldnt..
Well leina moved n upstairs from her is an apartment jerry n her want me to get but i really dont wanna live by myself..like i kno i can do it but i juss wont like bein by myself all da time so i dont kno if imma get it...
well im tried cuz my son had been sicc n im hopin tonight i get sicc he seems betta so i might get some sleep |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2005|10:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | grindin | ] |
1. Have you ever been drunk? yup yup
2. How old were you when you first got DRUNK? I was 9
3. Have you ever gotten/given digits while intoxicated?yea
4. Have you ever 'drunk dialed'? Yea
5. Have you ever had to cover up the fact that you were drunk? yea i did wen i was younger n wasn't allowed to drink
6. Have you ever been arrested for any alcohol related crime? nope
7. Have you ever hooked-up with someone while drunk? yea
8. Ever forgot their name? na
9. When was the last time you were drunk? last night
10. Have you ever been on a drunken binge? Na
11. Do you need alcohol to have a good time? no
12. What kind of alcohol gets you the most intoxicated? Liqour...remember at ya house steph
13. Favorite liquor/drink: Screw driver
14.Beer of choice: BUD..old e
15. Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking and found out that you are STILL drunk? na dat neva happen to me
16. Have you ever swam drunk? yea i did
17. What kind of a drunk are you? i juss like to chill but i always tell everyone i luv dem
18. Favorite drinking partner? well its used to b steph but she is pregnant right now but now its like jamie or leina
19. Favorite bar: Grays...
20. Have you ever completely blacked out?na
21. Have you ever puked from drinking? yea
22. Have you ever had the 'crying drunks'? yea i did
23. Can you still do physical activity while intoxicated? Yep..i luv sex wen im drunk
24. Have you ever gotten into a drunken fight? No
25. Do you have a drunken nickname? Na
26. Have you received a 'booty call'? i neva juss had a dude der for sex if i wasn't bein wit him he wasn't getting none from me
27. Favorite song about drinking: gin n juice
28. Have you ever woke up next to someone you didn't know? na
29. Have you ever been hit on by someone way older than you? yea
30. What's the worst 'buzz kill'? No ci's
31. Ever dated a bartender/Bouncer? Na
32. Do you ever say to yourself, "Dang, I need a drink"? Yea..i do all da time
33. Do strangers ever buy you drinks? na i dont do dat
34. Have you ever drank too much on a date? Na
35. Is there anything that you refuse to drink? I'll try anything once.
36. Have you ever been drunk on a plane? Na
37. Have you ever gotten drunk during the day? na
38. What's your favorite drinking game? Azzhole lol robbie
39. Have you ever injured yourself while drunk? no not dat i remember
40. What's the most destructive thing that has happened while you were drunk? i dont kno
41. Ever been drunk at a concert? Na
42. Why do you drink, are you a lush? i aint a lush i juss like to have fun cuz dats all i do
steph i remember wen u went to bingo drunk as shyt...lol. we had some fun times togather |
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| CrAzii |
[Sep. 11th, 2005|06:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | must b nice | ] |
Why is he the only one I think about all day and all night? Why is it when i close my eyes I see his beautiful smile? Why do I always stare when he walks by? When will he realize that without him i'm dying inside?
This time I really thought that it was different. I really thought that you cared. Who was I to think that you were serious with the words you said. How stupid can I be? I really don't understand why I cant just let you go. When I already know that you and me will never be. I should just let you go but whenever I think I am over you, you come around. Then all the feelings that I thought were done just come rushing back. And I am back to were I started thinking about you all the time and you want to know the worst part about it I even dream about you. Why cant I get you out of my mind. I wish I could just hate you but I cant because I absolutely adore you.
He's still the one I think about all day and the only thing i dream of at night He's still the only one that when i picture his smile can make everything seem alright He's still the one that can make me laugh and brighten up even the worst day He's still the one with just the thought of his name can make all the pain go away He's still the one that with the thought of his touch make my knees begin to shake He's still the one that with just a look in his eyes my breath away is what he takes He's stil the one that means everything to me the one that i adore He's still the one that im in love with and will continue to love each day more and more
dis is cute i dont kno where i got it from but i like it |
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| I luv dis song |
[Sep. 8th, 2005|10:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | CaSsIdY | ] |
SeEmS lIkE jUsS yEsTeRdAy
U wErE a PaRt Of Me,I UsEd 2 StAnd So TaLl
I UsEd 2 B sO sTrOnG,uR aRmS aRoUnD mE tIgHt
EveRyThInG, It FeLt So RiGhT
uNbReAkAbLe LiKe NuTtIn CoUlD gO wRoNg
NoW i CaNt BrEaThE,nOo I cAnT sLeEp
Im BaReLy HaNgIn On
HeRe I m, OnCe AgAiN..Im ToRn In2 PiEcEz
CaNt DeNy It,CaNt PrEtEnD
jUsS ThOuGhT u WeRe Da WuN
bRoKeN uP,dEeP iNsIdE
BuT u WoNt GeT 2 sEe Da TeArS i CrY
BhIdE dEsEz HaZeL eYeS
i ToLd U eVeRyThInG,oPeN uP & lEt U iN
u MaDe MeE fEeL iIgHt,4 OnCe In My LiFe
NoW aLl DaTs LeFt Of MeE
iS wHaT i PrEtEnD oF mEe
CuZ i CaNt BrEaThE,nOo I cAnT sLeEp
Im BaReLy HaNgIn oN
HeRe I m, OnCe AgAiN..Im ToRn In2 PiEcEz
CaNt DeNy It,CaNt PrEtEnD
jUsS ThOuGhT u WeRe Da WuN
bRoKeN uP,dEeP iNsIdE
BuT u WoNt GeT 2 sEe Da TeArS i CrY
BhIdE dEsEz HaZeL eYeS
SwAlLoW mEe DeN sPiT mEe OuT
4 HaTiN u I bLaMe MySeLf
SeEiN u It KiLls MeE nOw
NoO i DoNt CrY oN dA oUtSiDe AnYmOrE...
HeRe I m, OnCe AgAiN..Im ToRn In2 PiEcEz
CaNt DeNy It,CaNt PrEtEnD
jUsS ThOuGhT u WeRe Da WuN
bRoKeN uP,dEeP iNsIdE
BuT u WoNt GeT 2 sEe Da TeArS i CrY
BhIdE dEsEz HaZeL eYeS
...Dis song is soo good |
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